50,000 words and I AM DONE!
I had a bit of time today so I decided to just finish this thing. I did my flash forward to the future, put in my ending, and I. Am. Done. Thank god!
Ruby’s Roadhouse was now an institution in Bancroft, Ontario. The locals swore by it, saying that Ruby’s Roadhouse always has the best music. The Aerosmith cover bands, the Barry Manilow karaoke nights, and especially, the booze-laden cocktails were legendary. It was the only Zagat rated restaurant for hundreds of kilometers, and it was only through Ruby’s famously dangerous mood swings that the place was kept from being overrun by tourists.
It was midafternoon in the bar, and that meant that the Aerosmith/Morrissey cover band, The aeroSmiths, was doing their sound check. The aeroSmiths always drew a big crowd because of all the band drama they generated. To put it bluntly, the band’s Steven Tyler and the band’s Stephen Patrick Morrissey hated each other and despised each others’ music. They were always trying to sabotage one anothers’ efforts. One day, all of fake-Steven Tyler’s scarves would go missing, and there would be nothing to hang on the microphone stand. The next time they’d play a show, all of fake-Morrissey’s mesh crop tops would be gone, and he’d actually have to wear a shirt that wasn’t see-through.
It was clear to the audience that the two men were actually in love with one another, and their respective renditions of the classic ballad Heaven and Hell (Aerosmith) and There’s a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends (Morrissey) were emotional powerhouses of suppressed love and longing. One day a talent scout had come to call. Ronnie, as she was called, had been especially impressed by the signature shakiness of fake Steven Tyler’s voice. She had also noted how fake Morrisey howled through verses and hypnotic repetitions, even going so far as to say that there was an all too familiar combination of warning and desperation to his tone. One might be excused for thinking that the review told the reader as much about Ronnie’s internal emotional life as about the music itself.
Oddly enough, despite the fact that The aeroSmiths were setting up their instruments to play, and doing a loud and raucous sound check, a group of Barry Manilow fans, complete with Berry Femilow, a drag queen Barry Manilow impersonator, were trying to hold their weekly karaoke party. Berry and her audience were growing increasingly irritated at what they felt was a lack of respect for the great man and his music.
Odder still, the rivalry between The aeroSmiths and the Fanilows was a weekly occurrence at Ruby’s Roadhouse, and one that had been put in place by the Alliance. It seemed that there were some unknown agitators in Bancroft, and it was though that fomenting a revolution of sorts, albeit just a musical one, might be the way to smoke out the guilty parties.
Ruby’s Roadhouse was now an institution in Bancroft, Ontario. The locals swore by it, saying that Ruby’s Roadhouse always has the best music. The Aerosmith cover bands, the Barry Manilow karaoke nights, and especially, the booze-laden cocktails were legendary. It was the only Zagat rated restaurant for hundreds of kilometers, and it was only through Ruby’s famously dangerous mood swings that the place was kept from being overrun by tourists.
It was midafternoon in the bar, and that meant that the Aerosmith/Morrissey cover band, The aeroSmiths, was doing their sound check. The aeroSmiths always drew a big crowd because of all the band drama they generated. To put it bluntly, the band’s Steven Tyler and the band’s Stephen Patrick Morrissey hated each other and despised each others’ music. They were always trying to sabotage one anothers’ efforts. One day, all of fake-Steven Tyler’s scarves would go missing, and there would be nothing to hang on the microphone stand. The next time they’d play a show, all of fake-Morrissey’s mesh crop tops would be gone, and he’d actually have to wear a shirt that wasn’t see-through.
It was clear to the audience that the two men were actually in love with one another, and their respective renditions of the classic ballad Heaven and Hell (Aerosmith) and There’s a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends (Morrissey) were emotional powerhouses of suppressed love and longing. One day a talent scout had come to call. Ronnie, as she was called, had been especially impressed by the signature shakiness of fake Steven Tyler’s voice. She had also noted how fake Morrisey howled through verses and hypnotic repetitions, even going so far as to say that there was an all too familiar combination of warning and desperation to his tone. One might be excused for thinking that the review told the reader as much about Ronnie’s internal emotional life as about the music itself.
Oddly enough, despite the fact that The aeroSmiths were setting up their instruments to play, and doing a loud and raucous sound check, a group of Barry Manilow fans, complete with Berry Femilow, a drag queen Barry Manilow impersonator, were trying to hold their weekly karaoke party. Berry and her audience were growing increasingly irritated at what they felt was a lack of respect for the great man and his music.
Odder still, the rivalry between The aeroSmiths and the Fanilows was a weekly occurrence at Ruby’s Roadhouse, and one that had been put in place by the Alliance. It seemed that there were some unknown agitators in Bancroft, and it was though that fomenting a revolution of sorts, albeit just a musical one, might be the way to smoke out the guilty parties.
Congratulations! Sounds like you ended with a bang. I'll be looking for Ruby's Roadhouse when I get to Bancroft on the weekend (although I'm sure Ruby's wild mood swings would keep me away).
ReplyDeleteNothing would keep me away from Ruby's Roadhouse. I was hoping that aeroSmiths would do a Dream On cover, but perhaps the hate/true love of the lead singers keeps them from doing an Aerosmith song?
ReplyDeleteThat was really funny. Congratulations!
Congrats on finishing. I loved the except and not just because you plagiarized something from my novel that I had plagiarized from somewhere else. I loved that the local's took to Rudy's Roadhouse with a fervor only seen once before, and I think you know when.
ReplyDeleteAmazing. I loved every bit of this excerpt. I love Ruby's Roadhouse! Congratulations on finishing!! I admit I am impotent with rage and jealousy.
ReplyDelete