Day 7. 12,017 words. This is hard.

Yesterday was great and today, not so much. I am kind of bored of writing nonsense but I had to get the Barry concert over with and then I inserted some drama with Timberlake and the white belt. I sort of have an idea of where this is all going, but... how to get there. I think this weekend I will Make Something Happen.

Here is an excerpt, and a couple of photos for you.

At the end of the song, ze forgot even to applaud, until Darcy smacked hir on the back of the head and hissed, “what the hell, Ruby!” Ruby startled in hir chair and cheered loudly. Ze looked up to see Barry, Cody and Flo Rida all staring at hir with narrowed eyes. Luckily, Barry Manilow just smiled cruelly and signaled to the band. A few seconds later, Ruby’s heart sank as ze recognized the opening bars of Jenna Rose’s smash hit, My Jeans. In a surprise move, Flo Rida sang the Jenna Rose part, with Barry Manilow singing backup. Cody Simpson rapped the Triggy sections, with Barry Manilow and Flo Rida sharing the part of the unnamed backup rapper. One look at Barry and Ruby could see how much he enjoyed the torment he was putting hir through.


Flo Rida:
(AHHHHH)
Staring out my window,
I brush my hair.
Getting dressed to meet my friends but I don’t know what to wear,
Commercial shows on my t.v. about these cool designer jeans,
That I tried on, at the mall,
I change the channel and look what I see


Hannah Montana’s wearing my jeans,
Ashley Tisdale’s wearing my jeans,
Keke Palmer’s wearing my jeans,
I just can’t believe they wore those jeans like me
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jeans like me
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jeans like me
like me (approx 14x)
she wore those jeans like me


Ruby groaned and tried to look anywhere but at the stage or at Slade, who was laughing and (sigh) singing along. That was when ze noticed that Roux had left the box – who knows how long earlier – and that she was actually seated beside Justin Timberlake, who was decked out in an outfit that Ruby distinctly remembered from the early days of *NSYNC. 

Flo Rida was really getting into the song, as the backup dancers swirled about the stage holding various pairs of flared and bedazzled pale blue jeans. They would probably fit Cody Simpson, but they seemed a tad too small for Flo Rida. Just another one of life’s mysteries, Ruby supposed.


Flo Rida:
Staring at the mall window
I finger through a smile
I thought about how cool I’d look if I had them on right now
I'm anxious, and excited , they’re on my mind
It feels like heelies are racing, on my spine
(ooh-eeh)
I just can’t wait to call these my jeans
Everyone can look at me in my jeans
I can go anywhere in my jeans
But I still can believe she wore those jeans like me
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jeans like me
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jeans like me
like me (approx 14x)
she wore those jeans like me


Cody Simpson and Barry Manilow:
1, count to the 2 to the 3
not to the t-r-i double g
why?
Flo Rida’s got those cool new jeans
that's sittin in the j-e-t
but he's (how fly)
you might see me in a video
or a tv show
mtv, nic, hbo
Flo Rida could be a model in a fashion show
look there he goes


Barry Manilow’s terrible efforts at rapping were worsted only by Cody Simpson’s. And the backup dancers, and those jeans… For starters, the dancers barely seemed stable. It was as if a giant drunken baby had choreographed the routine and taught it to the dancers while they were quite possibly blindfolded. All of them were leaning in different directions, and it made Ruby wonder how exactly the band was staying on tempo but staying on tempo it was. It would have been impossible for Flo Rida to hit those high notes considering the problem with the backup dancers (they kept crashing into him or knocking over the little Simpson boy) but to be honest, it didn’t even look like Flo Rida was trying. Barry seemed to be the only one putting his heart into the performance. It was almost enough to make Ruby feel sorry for him, but then ze remembered that ze found him oddly terrifying.


Flo Rida:
a b c
1 2 3
that girl wore her jeans like me
I bet she's mad
'cos I look fab
hahaha ha jack my swag
sticks and stones
may break my bones
but mine look new
and hers just look so o-o-old
so o-o-old
so


Cody Simpson and Barry Manilow:
Oh my
look at those jeans
they should be posted in a magazine
matter 'fact let me get my phone
you can strike a pose
smile for the camera
(FREEZE)
what Cody bought a new blackberry?
what?
Cody bought a new blackberry?
what?
Barry bought a new blackberry?
ah just take the picture already
sorry, I was stuck in a daydream
when I bought those jeans with my new ice creams
that I look so good
when I hit the scene
so fresh so clean
all eyes on me
(ah-hah!) then I turned on my TV
what do I see?
the black eyed peas, and Jay z
I just can't believe they wore they jeans like me


To finish off the song, the three men stood in center stage with their arms clasped around one another, harmonizing and catching each others’ eye to nod and squint. It was clear they thought they were “bringing the noise.” They even changed the lyrics to the last several hundred repetitions of the phrase ‘she wore those jeans like me’ to replace the word ‘jeans’ with ‘jorts.’ Hilarity ensued. 

Flo Rida, Barry Manilow and Cody Simpson:
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jorts like me
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jorts like me
Like me (approx 14x)
She wore those jorts like me
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jorts like me
oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh (o-m-g) oh-oh-oo-o-oh she wore those jorts like me
Like me (approx 14x)
She wore those jorts like me (like me echoes out)