Introducing... The Duchess
Word count: 4,214
Caveat... some of you readers may not like this but I am very excited about the latest development in my book. I've finally introduced a very important character - The Duchess - and filled in some backstory for Seth.
One thing I've struggled with is my POV. I'm doing a 3rd person, but the narration sticks pretty close to Seth. Because I'm so much in her head, sometimes I get caught up in describing minute details, so that it takes forever for something to happen. I need to be able to do some broad sweeping statements sometimes, so that hours or days can go by without describing every single thing Seth does or says or thinks.
Plus, what's the point of 3rd person if you are basically always describing one person's thoughts? Today I tried to experiment a little bit with varying the narration. Getting into other characters' heads, and so on. It was hard because I'm so used to Seth's voice. I'm going to keep trying. I think I'll do a bit of reading tonight to see how other author's handle this problem.
And now, for an excerpt... see if you can guess the identity of The Duchess!
The lights went dark, and a single spotlight glowed in center stage. A clear, alto voice could be heard, though The Duchess was still not visible. Then, a long, thin leg in a delicate shoe with a very high heel appeared from behind a screen. The crowd roared. An arm, bare to the shoulder, decorated with the simplest of thin gold bangles, and holding the golden microphone, beckoned from behind the screen. And then, The Duchess appeared.
Seth gaped. She was lovely. She was dressed all in gold and her hair was the same golden brown as Seth’s, though on The Duchess, it looked like a shimmering amber headdress, not Seth’s awkwardly cut, frizzy mess. Her skirt was daringly short, her frame slim as a boy’s in the flapper style. She advanced to center stage, singing a tearful lament about her man leaving her. As Seth listened more closely, though, she realized she had been wrong. The Duchess was singing about her woman having left her. The crowd loved it, and every face displayed the yearning that Seth felt in her own heart.
Caveat... some of you readers may not like this but I am very excited about the latest development in my book. I've finally introduced a very important character - The Duchess - and filled in some backstory for Seth.
One thing I've struggled with is my POV. I'm doing a 3rd person, but the narration sticks pretty close to Seth. Because I'm so much in her head, sometimes I get caught up in describing minute details, so that it takes forever for something to happen. I need to be able to do some broad sweeping statements sometimes, so that hours or days can go by without describing every single thing Seth does or says or thinks.
Plus, what's the point of 3rd person if you are basically always describing one person's thoughts? Today I tried to experiment a little bit with varying the narration. Getting into other characters' heads, and so on. It was hard because I'm so used to Seth's voice. I'm going to keep trying. I think I'll do a bit of reading tonight to see how other author's handle this problem.
And now, for an excerpt... see if you can guess the identity of The Duchess!
The lights went dark, and a single spotlight glowed in center stage. A clear, alto voice could be heard, though The Duchess was still not visible. Then, a long, thin leg in a delicate shoe with a very high heel appeared from behind a screen. The crowd roared. An arm, bare to the shoulder, decorated with the simplest of thin gold bangles, and holding the golden microphone, beckoned from behind the screen. And then, The Duchess appeared.
Seth gaped. She was lovely. She was dressed all in gold and her hair was the same golden brown as Seth’s, though on The Duchess, it looked like a shimmering amber headdress, not Seth’s awkwardly cut, frizzy mess. Her skirt was daringly short, her frame slim as a boy’s in the flapper style. She advanced to center stage, singing a tearful lament about her man leaving her. As Seth listened more closely, though, she realized she had been wrong. The Duchess was singing about her woman having left her. The crowd loved it, and every face displayed the yearning that Seth felt in her own heart.
Not sure what would be offensive about that... no idea who the Duchess is... but I can't wait to find out more!
ReplyDeleteHmmm. on your note about the problems you are having with POV... I have been reading The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood, and she just ends a section and begins a new one, jumping from one thing to another. I am experimenting with that. I am also writing in third person, and like you, I tend to stick pretty close to my main character, but am toying with following others, and I think it does work, but it takes thought to do, something we don't have a lot of time for in this 30 day whirwind of tears, jeers, and more than a few beers.
ReplyDeleteI also am experiencing the same thing as you, not much is happening in my story... like, I am over 5000 words in, and like, 5 minutes have past.
You know what we need? A group writing session! June 13th cannot come soon enough as far as I am concerned.
I agree, with you, Jill! I can't wait for June 13th.
ReplyDeleteJust a word of advice, regarding this POV problem. I recently finished readng a book that was written in third person. The author followed many different characters throughout the course of the book. Which would have been OK had their been any kind of signal that this was occurring. Basically the author wrote from different people's POV, in third person (are you confused yet?) without delineating any boundaries or indicating to the reader in any way that it was occurring. So you would read about 2 or 3 sentences of a paragraph, get confused, figure it out, then re-start the paragraph.
Don't do this!
Re: the POV, I guess I have two separate problems.
ReplyDelete1. Describing every little detail of what Seth does takes forever and is not very interesting. I know that this month, all words are good words, but I don't want to bore even myself with the writing.
2. I may want to move into different characters' POV (but would have to be careful with that, as you point out, Sam) but mostly, I want to be able to describe things from a more objective viewpoint, and sometimes describe things that happen while Seth isn't there. I experimented a little bit with this, yesterday, but will keep trying.
At the end of the day, I will reveal The Duchess's true identity.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean 'at the end of the day' literally? Like at some point on June 4th you will reveal? Or do you mean 'at the end of the day', figuratively, like 'at the end of the day, does it really matter who the Duchess is?' I only ask this because my character is constantly saying things like that.
ReplyDeleteIt is now the end of the day. I just got home from dance practice and am going to start noveling. And, contrary to what Jill may believe, who the Duchess is matters more than you can imagine.
ReplyDeleteRead on:
King Lightning, keeping a firm grip on Seth’s tweedy arm, knocked on a small door.
“Come in,” said a deep voice. King Lightning pushed open the door, ushered Seth in, and then left with a wink. Seth was alone with The Duchess. Well, not quite alone, since The Duchess was vigorously kissing the blonde woman who had stood with Seth at the front of the stage. Seth waited politely until they were finished, and The Duchess approached her, hand extended.
“I’m The Duchess,” she said, “but you can call me Fernando. And this is my lover Olga.”
OOHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
ReplyDeleteI had some weird feeling that it was going to be Fernando, but then I never really pictured him as being in a faux-queen pageant. This is nuts. I am shocked to my very core!!!!!!
Amazing!!!!
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. The skinny leg thing threw me off... but it all makes sense now. Yay for 20s Fernando!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePhew. I hoped Katie wouldn't be overly protective of Fernando. I made him a world-reknowned drag queen from Europe, visiting Olga's Dutch parents in montreal and performing around Canada to pay for the trip.
ReplyDeletePeople from all around came to Jackie's Place to see his performance.