Day 15, 31,037. Bad decisions keep on coming!
I'm so happy that Seth got fired. I had a bunch of events all plotted out for the future, but now they are becoming less likely to happen, and that's fine. It was all seeming too methodical. Seth now has to set a new course in her life, and you know what that means - she needs to take a set of quizzes to help her see what kind of traveling snack she likes best. Er, I mean...
I had moved to the picnic table to be able to spread out all my materials: the food and drink, of course, but also my copy of Contemporary Social Work: A Postmodern Approach, a notebook, some poster paper, and a bunch of pens and different colored markers. My (first) post-firing weeping fit had ended, and in its aftermath, I knew that I should create a pastiche or perhaps a collage, to reflect my current status in life and to begin to envision the future I wanted for myself.
The first step to creating such a pastiche was to answer some questions that would give me insight into my own unique abilities in life and show me the way forward. I paged through the textbook, looking for the section on quizzes. The first question asked me “What is your perfect traveling snack?” Cheese-filled pretzels indicate that you are laid-back, goofy, and salty. If your ideal traveling snack is chocolate-covered pretzels, you are fun loving, disorganized, and silly. If your result is trail mix, you are relaxed, hapless, and brackish.
“These quizzes drive me crazy!” I yelled. My ideal traveling snack was peanut M&M’s. It was sort of like a chocolate covered pretzel, in that it was chocolate covered. It was also sort of like trail mix, in that it had nuts. So was I fun loving or was I relaxed? Brackish or salty? And what did brackish mean? Wasn’t that a term used to refer to salty water?
Perhaps I had just selected the wrong type of quiz. The next quiz I found began with this question: “When you arrive at your hotel lobby, and you notice a quiet cutie in line at the souvenir shop, what outfit do you grab from your suitcase to entice him?” Ugh. Heterosexist. While my answer was obvious (purple tie-dyed harem pants, over some brown snakeskin leggings) I would not succumb to heteronormativity in my hour of need.
I poured another glass of champagne and polished off the rest of the frittata before turning back to the book. This time, I carefully searched the index for the section on Finding A Sense of Direction In An Otherwise Meaningless Life.
I couldn't find any pictures of Jude Law eating M&M's so here is Rihanna instead.
I had moved to the picnic table to be able to spread out all my materials: the food and drink, of course, but also my copy of Contemporary Social Work: A Postmodern Approach, a notebook, some poster paper, and a bunch of pens and different colored markers. My (first) post-firing weeping fit had ended, and in its aftermath, I knew that I should create a pastiche or perhaps a collage, to reflect my current status in life and to begin to envision the future I wanted for myself.
The first step to creating such a pastiche was to answer some questions that would give me insight into my own unique abilities in life and show me the way forward. I paged through the textbook, looking for the section on quizzes. The first question asked me “What is your perfect traveling snack?” Cheese-filled pretzels indicate that you are laid-back, goofy, and salty. If your ideal traveling snack is chocolate-covered pretzels, you are fun loving, disorganized, and silly. If your result is trail mix, you are relaxed, hapless, and brackish.
“These quizzes drive me crazy!” I yelled. My ideal traveling snack was peanut M&M’s. It was sort of like a chocolate covered pretzel, in that it was chocolate covered. It was also sort of like trail mix, in that it had nuts. So was I fun loving or was I relaxed? Brackish or salty? And what did brackish mean? Wasn’t that a term used to refer to salty water?
Perhaps I had just selected the wrong type of quiz. The next quiz I found began with this question: “When you arrive at your hotel lobby, and you notice a quiet cutie in line at the souvenir shop, what outfit do you grab from your suitcase to entice him?” Ugh. Heterosexist. While my answer was obvious (purple tie-dyed harem pants, over some brown snakeskin leggings) I would not succumb to heteronormativity in my hour of need.
I poured another glass of champagne and polished off the rest of the frittata before turning back to the book. This time, I carefully searched the index for the section on Finding A Sense of Direction In An Otherwise Meaningless Life.
I couldn't find any pictures of Jude Law eating M&M's so here is Rihanna instead.
You sure used those quizzes to great effect! I loved this section. This was my favourite part:
ReplyDelete"Ugh. Heterosexist. While my answer was obvious (purple tie-dyed harem pants, over some brown snakeskin leggings) I would not succumb to heteronormativity in my hour of need."
Well said, Seth!
Great use of "the postmodern approach!"
ReplyDelete