The drop, 20,315 words

 It was an eventful day. In my novel, that is. I decided to skip forward a few months, and to my surprise, Fenn and Galadriel (new love interest) were living together, with Bailey still around, and Fenn and Gordon had forged a friendship. 

Two excerpts I think you'll enjoy. 

First up, Gordon has some big news.

“I’ve taken over the lease on Toodie-Loo! Hostile takeover of Juliette’s business. I sent her back to the big city where she belongs. We are now a government-funded employment agency, hence the new décor.”

Fenn’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness somewhat. What they could now see of the “new décor” consisted of: the flickering orange and purple lights in the distance, boards over the windows to keep the light out, some dustsheets over furniture, and a huge chandelier, must have been one metre in diameter, hanging at a crazy and terrifying angle, and lurching unpredictably as if it were remote-control activated.

Gordon nodded and smiled. “The theme, of course, is desperation, something that many job-seekers feel. And that’s not all! You can’t touch, because you are one of the hordes of employed people in this godforsaken village, but I can show you these limited edition capes. I received a grant to provide one cape to every unemployed person in the county. Studies have shown that the clothing item that builds a person’s self-esteem the most is a well-designed cape. Some speculate that it’s the dramatic flair made possible by the cape, while others believe it has something to do with superpowers. Still others have noted that one can hide inside a cape if a bully walks past, and so nerds feel safer. We may never truly know why capes are the Xanax of the clothing world, but we don’t need to know. 

“The unemployed need capes. Full stop. Period. The end. Check mate.”

Gordon hustled behind the counter and popped up with a sleek and shining cape. Hard to tell in the low light, but it seemed to be black, with a cherry red lining. Classic. 

Fenn squinted, nodded, and indulged in a slow clap that quickly became a full-on Arsenio Hall barking fist pump. Gordon had his finger on the pulse. 

Gordon then ushers Fenn to the back of the Toodie-Loo! employment agency for a workshop.  

Two shadowy figures were standing at the back of the room, lit by flashlights they were holding under their chins and a few battery-operated ‘candles’ that appeared to be skeletons relaxing in a bubble bath, only the tub was a large skull. The effect was bone-chilling. (Get it?)

Like if we were taking baths in giant heads i guess?

There were 13 chairs arranged haphazardly around the area, pointing every which way. Most of them appeared to be broken. Fenn chose an armchair that looked both functional and comfortable, only to find that the back of a chair was an animatronic octopus that emitted periodic hissing sounds. Gordon retreated to the front of the store. 

annoying chair

“Hello,” said Fenn, to the two shadowy figures. They did not react. Fenn was pretty sure they were human, not statues, but couldn’t be sure. 

Until a loud grandfather clock struck 2pm, and one of the shadowy figures began to chant: “So shorty who that who that you think always missing you? Iyiyi can not get enough of kissing you. I don’t cry-yiyi. Ok I shed a tear or two…” over and over again.

Could it be? Fenn was on the edge of their octopus chair, silently begging for the drop. The chanting figure’s voice was creaky and sibilant, slowing gaining in volume. After what felt like a hundred repetitions, blazing spotlights turned on, practically blinding Fenn (still the only audience member), as THE Cody Simpson took over and began singing “E-e-every minute, every second; Every hour of the day, iyiyi; Every hour of the day, iyiyi; Every time that I'm away, iyiyi. I‘m missing you, missing you.”

Cody and Flo Rida (for the chanting figure was, indeed, the American rapper and singer Tramar Lacel Dillard, better known as Flo Rida) were dressed in matching dusty rose hoodies, crisp white T shirts and acid wash jorts. They were giving it their all, crooning and swooning, dancing up a storm, hitting it out of the god damn park. Fenn was on their feet, screaming and singing along. Their hero, Cody “Jorts” Simpson, was just a few feet away.

When the song ended, and after Fenn’s cries of ‘Encore’ had died away, Jorts fixed them with a sunny, open gaze, and began. 

“After the witch hunt that ended in me losing my spot on the Australian Olympic swim team, simply because my qualifying times were not fast enough, I, too was unemployed. I, too, thought my life was over. I, too, had gambled everything I had, and lost it all.”

Jorts and Flo Rida looked solemn. Fenn was near tears at the thought of all that Jorts had had to live through. 

“And then I realized. TIME MANAGEMENT. It’s the key to everything. In today’s three hour seminar, I’m going to share with you the seventeen principles of time management that took me from loser, to cruiser. Starting with Principle 1a.” Cody paused and let the tension build. 

“Time.” 10 second pause. (Cody was timing it on his smartwatch.) “Your.” 17 second pause. “Drop.”

Wow. Fenn had never been more all ears.

“For the uninitiated,” Jorts and Flo Rida exchanged a smirk, “A drop or beat drop in music, made popular by electronic dance music styles, is a point in a music track where a sudden change of rhythm or bass line occurs, which is preceded by a build-up section and break. Obviously, this is a metaphor.”

For what?, Fenn wondered. For what???? Sadly, they were never to find out, because at that moment, all hell broke loose.

FYI, I have no idea what manner of hell is about to break loose, but that's a problem for tomorrow. By then I'm sure Sam will have given me some ideas.