Finally Jackie Bauer

I'm finally bringing Jackie Bauer into the book!

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Chapter 8.

Jackie Bauer was angry.

A pale, sweaty man stood at the bar, clutching a worn spiral-bound book marked with orange blotches.

“Is that Cheeto dust?” Jackie asked, mouth curled into a sneer. Nothing against Cheetos, obviously. Jackie simply preferred his dust the old-fashioned way.

“Hahaha LOL that’s a “common” mistake, if you’ll excuse the turn of phrase. Pardonnez mon français, as they say,” Gordon leered. “This dust is--“

“I don’t care,” Jackie’s voice sliced through Gordon’s attempt at an explanation.

“I think you will, when you find out that--“

“No!” Jackie thundered.

Gordon opened his mouth but shut it again when Jackie raised a single eyebrow. So Gordon slowly reached his hand inside his hip-length velvet “dress” cape and pulled out a bag of Cody Simpson’s Own Artisanal Cheese Puffs. He placed the bag gently on the bar in front of Jackie. “Cody Simpson cheese dust,” he whispered. 

Begrudgingly, Jackie squinted and nodded. “Grate abs,” he murmured pensively. Then he sighed, and poured a cup of Unpleasant Tang for Gordon. The can lid jutted out at a jaunty angle. Jackie had sharpened it earlier that day and its razor-sharp edge glistened in the dim light of the bar. 

“I know Chuck sent you,” Jackie said. “Down your drink in one go, and I’ll let you tell me why.”

Gordon picked up the can, and with one manicured fingernail tried to push the sharp edge of the lid out of the way. Jackie pointed to the sign behind him: NO WAFFLING.

Gordon nodded, then seemed to gather all his strength, and poured the rusty water down his throat. He sputtered and coughed, “more salt…. Not less!” with a frightened look on his face.

“You have sixty seconds,” said Jackie. 

“Chuck says you have to read my dissertation,” Gordon said. “Becoming Marathon. Not to be confused with the film Becoming Animal, which is an inspired collaboration between filmmakers Emma Davie (I Am Breathing) and Peter Mettler (The End of Time) and radical writer and philosopher David Abram (The Spell of the Sensuous), Becoming Animal is an urgent and immersive audiovisual quest, forging a path into the places where humans and other animals meet, where we pry open our senses to witness the so-called natural world—which in turn witnesses us, prompting us to reflect on the very essence of what it means to inhabit our animal bodies. My dissertation, on the other hand, dares to ask the question: marathon?”

“Time’s up,” Jackie said. “Get out. And leave the Puffs.”

Gordon was almost to the door when Jackie spat out, "And by the way, why not reflect on what it means to inhabit our animal bodies, instead of reflecting on the very essence of what it means? Waste of time." Gordon had no answer.