my last chapter!

 If y'all are finishing, I might as well finish, too. My novel comes in at a cool 5,836 words and I'm pleased as punch.

Here's my last chapter.

Chapter 23. The Final Countdown

MEMORANDUM

Subject: Chadwick’s Place Always Has The Best Music
To: All staff, Jackie’s Place
From: “Chuck from HR”
Date: July 26, 2025

Dear All Staff,

We, the undersigned, are resigning from Jackie’s Place Head Office, effective immediately.

We have already formed a new corporation, Chadwick’s Place Head Office, which will have the best music, a FUNCTIONING mini militia with a non-humiliating commitment level, no employees named “Jackie” (before you even try it, you should know that this isn’t discrimination because ‘people named Jackie’ is not a protected class, obviously we ran this by  Chad from Legal, Esquire, we’re not complete idiots, not like some people we could name), and no unsightly dive bars that host lab-themed cover bands.

Chadwick’s Place Head Office is in the business of head officing, an important public service that we have not had enough time for lately, what with running around like assholes trying to fix non-broken equipment, clean up FAKE blood yes that’s right it was all FAKE, and doing PR for a balrog-related disaster.

So bye, it was nice knowing you (not!), and we wouldn’t be surprised if all the Jackie’s Place locations burned to the ground because none of you know the first thing about commitment or self-optimization. This is not a threat, don’t bother to ask Chad from Legal, Esquire because HE DOESN’T WORK HERE ANYMORE. 

Losers.

GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY, ffs.

Signed,

Chadwick “McDreamy” Penneyworth, former VIP WiFi Coordinator and Chair of the Ad Hoc WiFi Coordination and Contemplation Committee of Jackie’s Place Head Office, current Special Advisor to the Justice for Martha’s Vineyard Cancelled Community Members and WiFi Restoration and Contemplation Committee  of Chadwick’s Place Head Office

Chad from Legal, Esquire, former Legal Counsel and Squadron Leader of the Jackie’s Place Head Office Mini Militia, current Chief Legal Officer and Music Afficionado of Chadwick’s Place Head Office

Chadwick “Brando” Brandon, formerly known as Brandon “Brando” Brandon, former Special Advisor to the VIP WiFi Coordination team of Jackie’s Place Head Office, current Regulator of Foucauldian Discourse Analysis Aid Kits of Chadwick’s Place Head Office

Ryan “Scrooge” Moneysworth, former Physical Resources Contemplation Coordinator of Jackie’s Place Head Office, current Physical Resources ‘Tsar’ of Chadwick’s Place Head Office

Ryan “from IT” Hilton, creator of the Jackie’s Place “This Ain’t the Hilton” signs, current IT Advisor for Chadwick’s Place Head Office [P.S. Ryan wanted us to ask you if you have tried turning it off for 30 seconds and then turning it on again.]

Chadwick Moneypenny, former Chief Financial Office of Jackie’s Place Head Office, current Interim Head of Human Resources of Chadwick’s Place Head Office