Introducing Chadwick Moneypenny

Chapter 21.

The stairs were wet with Gordon’s cape water. 

As the pack of raincoated toddlers swarmed down, the first one slipped, and began to tumble. Soon all the toddlers were shrieking with laughter and throwing themselves down the stairs, tripping over a stack of chairs inappropriately placed at the bottom of the staircase, and eventually landing with a crash on an out of place folding table.

Chadwick Moneypenny stood at the top of the stairs. [Chadwick began work in the mail room at Jackie’s Place Head Office. When the memos started flying, and she saw which way the wind was blowing, she legally changed her name from Marlene Winnington to Chadwick “Commitment Level Infinity” Moneypenny. The very next day, Chadwick Moneypenny was promoted to Chief Finance Officer and appointed Head of the Cool, Intimidating Nicknames Support Group.]

Chadwick’s memory of what happened next comes only in fragments. Gandalf the Grey, covered in blood, under a pile of toddlers. Chuck from HR showing up and saying something urgent about ‘liability’ and ‘frangible.’ That new eco-friendly ambulance that looked like a refrigerator carton mounted on a bunch of skateboards. It had a good siren though. A really attractive EMT with an Aussie accent.

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” Chadwick told her therapist that night. “We’d rehearsed it. Complete, eerie silence. Wooden muskets pointed every which way. I bought the special shoes with the really satisfying click so they’d hear me coming and have time to get really scared. There’s a reason no one plans an intimidating confrontation at the McDonald’s ball pit.” 

“Well, duh, the ball pit is usually booked up for important business meetings, months in advance,” the therapist said, rolling her eyes. Clients, amirite?

“I guess so,” mumbled Chadwick, and gave up trying to explain. Her therapist discouraged storytelling at the best of times.